Wednesday, November 18, 2015

11/18/15 - The old me

The old me:
 
Loved taking a shower.
Kept my house clean.
Wore makeup.
Cooked dinner on a regular basis.
Cared about my looks.
Could babysit my grandbabies for a whole day.
Could run up and down steps.
Could stand from a squat.
Didn't get dizzy.
Didn't have vertigo.
Didn't have numb areas on my body.
Took pleasure in life.
Was pleasing (most of the time).
Smiled.
Laughed.
Didn't have unbearable pain daily.
Had clear vision.
Didn't have tremors.
Didn't have to put on an act for everyone so they won't worry.
Took pleasure in reading. 
Loved my artwork.
Loved going to the beach.
Didn't mind shopping.
Sent out Christmas cards.
Had fairly good hand writing.
Could sing.
Was thoughtful.
Didn't have to concentrate to pee.
Loved working in the yard.
Could form a complete sentence without going through charades for a forgotten word.
Was smart.
Was kind.
 
The new me, not so much.




Wednesday, October 28, 2015

10/28/15 - Copaxone

I received the Copaxone yesterday and will be scheduling the nurse for training on the injections. I pray this MS drug helps me in every way it can. I spoke with my MS peer and she's been on it for 15 years and her MS is no worse than when she was diagnosed. Sounds good to me. Obviously it doesn't heal the MS but I pray it gets no worse.
 
So my seemingly monthly bronchitis is getting better. Lungs are still crackling but not as bad. MS is an autoimmune disease, your body is attacking itself, so I'm guessing that lowers my immune system and enables me to catch anything. I need to get blood work done, if I get a night that I'm not taking anything after midnight. I need to go to my PCP and find out this stuff plus get a flu shot. By then I might be able to give it to myself.

Laundry day today. With my lung capacity I might camp out in the basement.

Oh my gosh, I made the best bacon and baked potato soup yesterday...it was my first time. It was awesome! The down side of that is I realize that bacon gives me indigestion. WTH!?!?!? I LOVE BACON!!!! It was ok when sausage gave me indigestion, I didn't love it! So I'm in bacon mourning. I don't want to talk about it.
 
I've lost 10 pounds. Don't know where either. I looked behind me and it's not there. I'm not gonna look too hard because I don't want it back.
 
My laundry calls...better days are coming.
#MSSUCKS

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

10/21/15 - Vertigo

Dear Vertigo,

You're not cool all spinning and crap. I love roller coasters but you...I've always hated the spinning rides. So why don't you take your spinning and spin on outta here. And by the way...don't come back, you're not welcome here.
 
Extremely sincerely,
Dawn

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

10/13/15 - Dependent

I have a hard time knowing that my body is so dependent on a couple drugs. Both of these meds help with pain management but if you miss a dose or two your body goes into a form of shock. I get the shakes, sweat and all over unrest. I hate it! I know they are both beneficial but I hate to think I would ever run out. Is this an addiction or dependency? Either word you want to use, I'm that.

The eye twitching, yeah, hasn't gone away. Such a small thing but such an annoyance.
 
I got to babysit the cutest boy in the world yesterday and for about an hour his beautiful sister. I couldn't enjoy any of it because I was in detox of one of my meds. I made it over there just before Cali got on the bus, she ran over to me and hugged me. The love that I have for those two is indescribable. I am so sorry I wasn't feeling better to enjoy it.

Shared Solutions is a free resource for those living with MS and will be using Copaxone. I received a call yesterday from a MS peer. I was able to hear her story, she's been on Copaxone for 15 years, and to hear how well she is doing. I had a few questions to ask her about the drug and also her results from the drug. She hasn't had a recent MRI but she says she is no worse than when she was diagnosed. That to me is hopeful. Her neurologist says no one knows if the results are from the Copaxone or not. MS is hard to treat because there is no cure or cause. MS is also unique to the individual, no two cases are exactly alike. Shared Solutions also will provide injection training, on-call nurse 24/7, insurance and benefits help and financial help if needed. All-in-all I'm hopeful.
 
As NJS would say, "Better days are coming!"
 
ETA: I forgot the vertigo...can't lay on my left side unless I want it to feel like a tilt-a-whirl.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

10/10/15 - Busy days

Yesterday I was able to get Miss Edna's grass cut, good thing, it rained last night. Today I want to make sure everything is out of the house, carport closet and garage. First showing of the house is Monday. I pray the house sells quickly. 
 
Do you get that feeling that the rest of your life is about to start? I want to go, enjoy everything I can and see the country. I have wanderlust again and this time I want to enjoy it camping.
 
My eyelid is twitching, has since yesterday, very annoying.  I think after I'm satisfied with how the house and yard looks I will sleep for days. My body says...Girl are you crazy? Not again today?
 
Ok, I'm off...back to work!
 
Better days are coming...when the house sells.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

10/7/15 - What a way to end a busy day

Yesterday I got so much done. I cut the grass at the house for sale, ran the weed eater, sprayed weeds, used the blower to get recent cobwebs down AND got to see the best two babies in the world.

George and Jason took the rest of the shed down and hauled it to the dump. Jason will be back this morning to finish the cleanup. They had it down and apart in no time. Jason power washed the house last week so it's looking great! Lt. Briggs put the for sale sign up yesterday so I'm praying for a quick sale.

I spent a few hours with the kids last night and even though I was hurting and exhausted they rejuvenate me. They are two sweet babies. When Cali is showing me boo-boos she refers to herself as "Your baby girl". Nash was a Mama's boy last night but he did bring me a book to read. He's so adorable I just want to hug and kiss him until he squirms out of my lap. I got to snuggle with my baby girl and read to her. I put her to bed and asked her what she wanted to be when she grows up...a teacher. That assures me she has a good one at school. She then proceeded to tell me all she would do in her classroom. What an imagination! Before I left her to fall asleep I prayed that God would send his angels to watch over her. And I pray the same for Nash, his Daddy and Mommy and for TiTi (Meghan). After the kids were asleep I got to spend time with Kristin without being interrupted a million times lol. Richard was at college, proud of that man. He is getting training in the electrical field. He is a good husband, father and provider. Just what a mother wants for her daughter.

Today I am mowing our lawn...I think that's all I have planned this morning. David's hip has been bothering him for about a week. The doctor thinks it may be his back. I'm hoping and praying that he will be healed.

My cuppa is empty so I best be at something while I have some energy in me.

Even though this old world seems upside down, I know better days are coming.

Monday, October 5, 2015

10/5/15 - Two outta three is bad

I got the second confirmation of MS today. The type is Primary-Progressive MS, or PPMS. After all the red tape created by my insurance company I'll be starting Copaxone. It is an injectable either daily or three times a week, once again decided by my insurance. My neurologist also has prescribed Provigil which will help with the fatigue and concentration. You know, it was a relief to hear the diagnosis. It's difficult knowing there is something wrong without the benefit of a diagnosis. Now I know where my battle lies.
 
Better days are coming!
 

Thursday, September 24, 2015

9/24/14 - Whew!

Today I:

Washed kitchen floor
Washed all windows outside
Cleaned out flower bed
Brought last remnants from house home
Cut Miss Edna's grass
Cooked dinner

I'm beat but I know better days are coming!

Friday, August 14, 2015

8/14/15 - Do something every day

When we were on vacation (yes I need to post some pictures) I decided that no matter how I felt I would do something every day. So far so good. During Camp I took Cali to VBS all but one day. Since then I've closed up the tent and then helped wrap up Camp, done piles of laundry, made tomato sauce and grilled several meals.

Today I may have to take Nash to the doctor, if not I have a sink full of dishes. I absolutely H A T E  doing dishes. I wish I could convince David to do dishes when I cook, so far nope.

Sometimes I struggle to be kind to people that aren't kind. We should love like Jesus loved. Setting my eyes upon Jesus is what I strive to do. There are times that I can be down right nasty. I could blame it on my messed up brain but I do have control of my mouth. My favorite Bible verse comes from Philippians 4:13, I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me (emphasis mine).
 
Better days are coming, it may not be until eternity.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Sunday, June 21, 2015

6/21/15 - Been a long time

So much has happened, so many changes in my life. I lost my Mother in January, it went so fast that at times it feels like she's still here. We have moved into Mom's house and hope to soon put our house on the market.
 
My Cali turned 5! Nash will be a year old August 1! Where does the time go? 
 
My Meghan has moved to Texas, lucky girl,
 
Richard and Kristin are raising a beautiful family.
 
David and I are going on vacation next week.
 
I am truly blessed!
 
Hopefully I'll be posting some pics soon.
 
Better days are coming.