Tuesday, February 16, 2016

2/16/16 - Meantime

"In the meantime" keeps popping in my head, a lot! To me it means I'm doing this, waiting for that. I have no idea what this and that are. My mind stays jumbled most of the time. It is so hard for me to concentrate and finish a task. I do set alarms for myself when I'm in the meantime. When I read I try to pause and absorb but all this stuff in my brain takes over. When I pray all this stuff in my brain takes over. I pray that all this stuff in my brain that takes over would settle down and stop. In the night when I'm awake I think I should put this jumble on paper but I don't. I think I should do a lot of things, but I don't. As I'm laying here now typing this I think I should be doing something else, but I don't. 

There is this MS place on the net that says I can but I've found that so many things I've tried I can't. There is another MS thing that I've read that says think positive, speak positive...they must not have MS. It's pure crap. MS really sucks, all the time! I'm so mad about it. Sometimes I'm mad at God but most of the time I'm just mad. I've lived a certain way for over 50 years and now this thing called MS has changed everything. I have to change the way I do just about everything and I HATE IT!
 
Better days are coming my ass.

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